We are all faced with choices every day. Some are more critical than others: black suit or brown suit, salad or combo #5, answer “yes” or “no” to a new job offer, get up early for exercise and devotion or sleep in for those few extra minutes . . .
As a very young woman, I decided that I wanted to move away from North Carolina and everything I knew here to pursue my musical interests. I gave myself three choices: LA, Boston, or Minneapolis. Each of those three had its own special attractiveness. My method of choosing was a bit reckless for the implications, but I remember throwing a dart at a map to see which city would be my destination and my new home. I had no idea the day I made that choice how much my life would change based on that particular decision.
I suppose we never really know how life-changing our decisions can be. We do know, however, when life begins to feel out of control. Sometimes that happens through no fault of our own, but other times we feel that way after we’ve made some bad choices. I don’t think we ever set out to make a bad choice, but if that happens too often, we lose confidence in ourselves as competent agents for our own life decisions. We may lose hope for a good life regardless of what we do because we’ve created such a difficult “bed to lie in.” And then we decide to stop making importance choices. We might decide to just keep things exactly the way they are, hoping that this approach might make it possible that, at the very least, things will not get any worse.
The thing about the no-choice approach is that it really is a choice . . . but, once again, it isn’t a very good one. I have made several very good choices in my life that turned out to be of critical importance. I have plenty of experience with difficult outcomes from risky choices, too. I found it necessary after those times to spend some time regrouping, whatever that might mean in the situation. But soon the day always comes when I know I must make another big decision.
While I understand now how important it is to choose well, I also understand that some of the decisions I have made that may seem to be the most unwise are the choices that have brought me through trials that taught me the most about God, about myself, and about others. When we place our faith in God and then make our choices with confidence that God will redeem our perceived failures, then we have the advantage of choosing based on faith instead of basing our choices on fear. And after we carve away our fear and make our choices based on God’s redeeming love for us, then the sculpture of our life becomes more and more unique, more and more beautiful. Even the scars that might have defined us take on an intentional, artistic quality in the light of God’s faithfulness.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.” (Proverbs 3:5, NRSV)
Finding a new "normal" 
I appreciate the part of your post that says, “I also understand that some of the decisions I have made that may seem to be the most unwise are the choices that brought me through trials that taught me the most about God, about myself and about others.” What a true and defining observation that is. Most of us who love the Lord and want to serve Him will find that statement like a ‘homecoming’. Only a God of greatness and faithfulness, all wise, all knowing, all love, could handle a crew of flailing sons and daughters like us and bring us to a new plateau in drawing us closer to Himself and our finding out a few life-changing things about ourselves that we would never have had the courage to discover any other way. What a glorious God we serve!
Thanks for this great post.
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Thank you for your comments, MG. I really do believe that the process of self-discovery is a lot like sculpting – the way the excesses are chiseled away to allow the image to emerge.
Our message at church this morning included a quote that said, in a nutshell, who we are is observed more by our choices than by our abilities. Those same thoughts have followed me this week as I pray for someone I love who must make some difficult new choices after having made some unwise ones.
It is my hope, as always, to encourage my friends who might also struggle with these things and to somehow reflect the image of God more and more with each shared experience.
Peace and blessings,
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