Tag: parent-child relationships

Like a Nomad

We all need someone in our life who can shock us into a new way of thinking. That person for me is my youngest child.

He has always demonstrated a level of understanding the world in ways that seem to surpass my own. His even temper and clear headedness is enviable.

We had the need to take an overnight trip to do some work where our RV camper is this weekend. As we were loading up to come back home, he said to me, “you need to learn to pack more like a nomad!”

Well, what on earth did that mean? I got that he was frustrated by the volume of stuff we had to come back with. It was one 24- hour period after all. How much could we possibly need?

Apparently, in my mind, we needed all our juices and freezer items so we could eat “our food.” And extra linens in case I didn’t already have what we needed there. (There was PLENTY there, by the way.) And, well, all my toiletries even though the camper bathroom is so tiny, your knees jam up against the tub from the toilet and there’s room enough on the counter for a toothbrush or two and a bar of soap. And the cabinet is about an inch deep.

I knew that I was taking too much from home to make the trip “more bearable” for me, but I didn’t really think about it the way he does.

What’s the opposite of “like a nomad?” I asked him. We talked through it and landed on “like a colonizer.” He didn’t love that word but it struck me. And it struck me because it spoke to my need to make another place as much like MY home place as possible. And it seared through me because that position removes our openness to experiencing another place – or person – as it is, (or as they are.)

It reminded me of how much I despise the White Savior mentality of “doing missions” in the form I was exposed to in my youth – bringing salvation to a people group as if our culture was what would save them. It reeked of Christian Nationalism but it took years before I could step far enough back to see how unlike Christ our efforts were in that context.

So, next time I’m packing for a destination, I’ll remember the lesson in packing “like a nomad.” I do want to be willing to experience other places and other people authentically without comparing against my place or my ways of doing things. It’s in those times of temporary discomfort that we grow and can humbly recognize our place in the world and our connection to others who share it.

Father’s Day Status: It’s Complicated

I think Father’s Day is becoming increasingly more difficult to handle. Not just for me, either.

As I scroll through my mental list of close friends, I haven’t yet come to anyone with an untarnished experience this Father’s Day. (Ok, I just remembered one.) As I think of my friends, family, and self, either our dad has passed away, or the relationship was bad, or in some cases it’s both. Whatever the reason that brought us to this point, it hurts when Dad is not around — especially on Father’s Day. For the people I know and love who have experienced a living-yet-absent father, that pain is part of everyday life.

For those of us who miss our dad on Father’s Day because he died, we can find some refreshment and peace in our good memories. Particularly for those of us who profess faith in Jesus, the comfort and support that we felt from our dad can easily translate into that notion of God, the Father. But, the move from an uncomfortable relationship with our earthly father to a comforting relationship with our Heavenly Father can be a little more tricky. In that case, we have to let go of some beliefs we may carry with us that are contrary to the way God, our Heavenly Father, operates. If you wouldn’t want to be accused of being just like your dad, then maybe God deserves that same benefit from you: don’t assume that God is like anybody else you know. If you were blessed with a dad who modeled godly principles and lifestyle, then appreciate and recognize that as a blessing. But please understand that you could also have a faulty perspective of God’s ways and motivations, based even on that good-but-limited model.

In other words, all I’m saying is . . . God is much bigger than your daddy! He’s bigger than your mama, too! (Not necessarily saying “yo mama’s so big …) God’s love for us is entirely real. It’s so super-big. It doesn’t have the consequences of sin attached to it that we experience in our human relationships. God’s love surpasses all of that! God loves us so much that He chose to become like us in order to be with us, to teach us, to suffer like us, and to do the one thing that none of us could do just so we could be with him forever.

If your own Father’s Day status reads, “It’s Complicated,” then I want to wrap this concept of God’s love around you like a big bear hug. May the warmth, the comfort and the peace of God’s great big love put a mega-watt smile on your face this Father’s Day!

Now, who’s your daddy?! (I apologize, but I could NOT resist that!)